just two random thoughts that have hit me

oo1; if i were to have a me song, it would probably be: i'll make a man out of you - mulan

oo2; birthday present to myself will likely be an ipad | 32gb wifi only



random, eh?

donna.

it appears that at the beginning of every year i have a very melodramatic moment of panic in which i become completely overwhelmed by what's in front of me...
le sigh.

there's just so much possibility in a new year, you know?

i was going through my to do list from 2011, and realised...i'm really crap.
like, really crap.
so much i managed to put off, postpone, etc etc etc
but at the same time, i'm super elated that i can finally cross new zealand off my list, since it's been there ever since LOTR: FOTR came out. it feels this achievement, possibly because the idea that i would get to go at the beginning of the year was so remote.

this year,
i feel like there's some really exciting opportunities ahead, but at the same time, i'm pretty scared that they'll pass me by, or i don't take full advantage of them.
placements start this year, i might tutor this year, i might overload my courses this year, i might go somewhere with my phD this year, i might try and network this year.
i might take better photos this year, i might take less photos this year, i might change the way i process photos this year. i might start experimenting with videos this year.
i might make more things this year. i might try and only give homemade gifts this year. i might sew more this year. i might sing more this year. i might stare at the sky a bit more this year. and my computer screen a little bit less.
i might sleep more this year. i might spend less on clothes and food this year. i might go to europe this year. i might not travel this year.


what is going to happen this year?




donna.

so unless you've been living under a rock, and thus, not privy to my continuous complaining about my proposal
you know i've been busy with my proposal (lol)
now that that's finally submitted (and hopefully accepted), i've got a little breathing space before the next deadline
had so much trouble going home today, realising i could actually have the weekend off!
my brain couldn't compute it, at all.
guess that's a pretty good indication i've finally stepped into my phD shoes, right?

anyway, changed the look of the blog the tiniest little bit, for no reason at all...
i just felt like it, i guess.

my relationship with albus has pretty much been put on the backburner for a while
so i'm hoping to take him out for a run tomorrow and get re-acquainted
haven't really taken any photos that i've been happy with for a little too long (sadface)
same with moc-dog, poor thing hasn't been washed since the ice age
i'm going to try my hardest to balance work/life during this time and hopefully, set myself up for when life gets hectic again.

starting now...sleeping early!

wish my luck :)

 

donna.

yesterday, there was a pseudo housewarming party for level 14
hosted by the school that we're sharing the level with - the BEES
everyone on the level got an invite, but out of all the psyc students only me and joe ended up going
and looooooool at the small amounts of bitching about the psyc school that went on
yeah, politics politics politics...

beer levels at around...5pm?

networking is hard.

especially when my face turns red after half a beer
not. cool.

and it's kind of rad how the kitchen has strobe lighting that changes colour according to the bass levels
man, at one point the white light was flashing and i was feeling epileptic
completely not what i envisioned a phD lifestyle to be like
half of me is like, this is cool. the other half wishes everyone were just a nerdy bookworm.

nothing much happened today.
went to a colloquim and got free sushi and juice.
living the high life right there.

i'm fluctuate between getting ridiculously bored and excited.

i think i'm going to try and renovate over the easter weekend...

also, me and janice wore matching outfits today.

donna.

wow, has it really been half a month since my last proper entry?
things have been quite hectic since uni started up again.
suffering from a bit of inertia getting into phD mode.
been constantly on edge. a horrible horrible feeling.
need to find a way to curb it.

and you know what's worse?
i'm so insignificant relative to the world's problems.
this year's natural disasters have just been insane. one after another.
you would think that they would put life into a bit more perspective.
especially since this year's events have hit a bit closer to home than past years.
i don't even know what i'm supposed to feel.

thankfully, not all things are bad.
i realise small things still bring my joy. like hand-sewing the bow i removed from my coat jacket and making it into a hair accessory.
hopefully, i'll be able to channel my angst into some creativity.
something that's been relatively lacking in my life recently.
i've also been really getting into interior design blogs as of late.
makes me want to renovate my room entirely.

donna.

sitting at my phD desk after lunch

listening to john mayer

and thinking about jenny lam...

donna.

i feel i must appreciate the fork. 

it is quite the fabulous utensil. 

i'm eating a salad right now and had a whole egg off to the side. 

aside from using the fork as a fork, it suddenly came upon me that i can also use it as a knife to cut the egg up into smaller morsels. 

on closer reflection, i also realise that i could also use it as a spoon if i so wished.

wow. 

donna.

i keep thinking that if i keep pushing my life back until my parents come home
how am i going to handle living independently?
but then i realised i'm not just taking care of myself, so i feel less incompetent.
i wonder how much of a hermit i would be if i were to live with myself...
(approximately 7, perhaps?)

spent the past two days compiling my usa photobook
was aiming at 160 pages but right now it's 200. need to cut. cut. cut. 
hopefully i'll be able to finish it by tomorrow or tuesday night
i'm thinking that i'm going to try out blurb's standard landscape book this time...

what other interesting things have happened?
oh, i had my first meeting with the workcover group on friday
richard's totally BFFs with michelle and it's really cute
they were pretty helpful and enthusiastic and it gave me hope that these four years might be bearable.

lastly, and weirdly enough, i find daniel radcliffe oddly attractive in these photos
tis a strange feeling. 

 

donna.

so much work - postgrad work, post-usa work, work work.
so much stuff to do - important stuff, unimportant stuff, moderately important stuff.
kind of overwhelmed by the little things.
and then there are the big things to worry about.
worry worry worry swish swish swish. 
i need to find some time somewhere.
and usually, i think i've died if i don't see other people for a long time.
but right now, i'm quite enjoying the solitude.
perhaps i'm preparing myself for a lifetime filled with it.



shrug. 


ETA: the picture-less-ness of this blog is killing me. must rectify ASAP.

donna.

i wonder how long it's going to take, for my life to get back together.

hmm...

donna.

it's my fourth day returning to full time work hours and it appears that they are taking their toll already. i'm tired. but i sleep early. and because i sleep early, i'm on a different schedule to everyone else. so then it's like i've died again. kind of enjoying the solitude, but at the same time, it feels like i'm drifting aimlessly in a big, big ocean. it's a nice, relaxing feeling until you realise it's a big, big ocean and you're all alone in it. hopefully, once my body syncs back to working mode, i'll be able to live a little bit outside of work. tonight i ate dinner in my kitchen, even though i was eating by myself, because i needed time away from my computer. i kind of feel like driving far far away and sitting on a deserted beach, just watching the sunset. it makes me wonder how far i can go before i run out of petrol...

 

donna.